Let’s Play Sword Art Online: Hollow Fragment – Part 11

Anyway, as we step out of Kirito’s room, another mandatory scene begins.

Sinon is Best Girl and Kirito must have learned his lesson after the faux pas with Leafa. I see no way this could end poorly.

This ended poorly.

Even my Vita wants this shit to stop.

“So I grabbed your boob for support. What? They look like strong handholds.”

Just stab him and leave him to bleed out. Do us all a favour Sinon. Become the new protagonist.

Instead she decides to fall asleep against him and Kirito decides to let her do so with roughly the same reasoning as you would let a cat sleep on you.

Awww. She’s dreaming about Kirito.

Yup. Dreaming about Kirito.

“… get this douchebag disqualified, he didn’t even enter his info for the BoB…”

And as soon as she wakes up, Sinon’s mind instantly leaps to the possibility of sexual assault. Oh SAO.

She’ll remember her GGO login info, spawn her Hecate II into Aincrad and just run around popping off the heads of raid bosses with it. And this game will finally reach perfection.

Back at Agil’s shop, I bother Silica about that whole ‘Pina achieved Super Saiyan’ thing. Apparently, according to her ‘beast tamer friends’ (hi, how about mentioning them sooner), unique foods can power up certain pets. So swallowing Silica’s teleport crystal gave Pina a huge defence buff and aggro-drawing abilities. Seems legit. So Silica wants me to help her find gourmet pet food for Pina on the off-chance that a particular brand of Kibbles N’ Bits will give her the ability to poop gold.

BYE BITCH

Checking my Event list, I discovered that Yui wanted to see me. Not wanting to disappoint the poor fake internet child, I went and saw her in the Arc Sophia shopping district.

Welcome home big bro! Dammit, I did it again.

Kirito promptly proceeds to blow his daughter off because he wants to check all the shops to see if defeating the floor boss updated their inventories.

Parenting is hard.

Kirito returns with all his shopping, only to hear a noise. Could it be Yui? I see no way that his abandonment of his daughter in the city could end poorly.

It ended poor-

…

Excuse me Yui what the fuck are you doing.

Oh just at the back of the hotel. I’m sure this is perfectly fine and innocent.

…

YUUUUUIIIIIIIIIIII!

YUI YOU STOP THAT RIGHT AT ONCE YOUNG LADY.

I know you want to be cool like Daddy and like Uncle Long Shaft Axe User but you’re just not old enough yet!

What, what’d you think I was worried about?

The stupider Kirito becomes, the less comfortable I become with making jokes about it and the more I just feel bad for him.

Kirito yells at Yui unexpectedly while she’s in the middle of precariously balancing a greataxe above her own tiny head. I see no possible way this could end poorly.

It ended poorly.

Kirito catches the axe just in time because of course he does and asks Yui who left the axe behind that she was clearly trying to return it to. Yui finally explains things to her stupid, stupid father. She was trying to train with that huge-ass axe so that she could join the front lines with him and Asuna and they could be a battle-family. Which sounds like the sickest shit ever, so of course Kirito says she’s not old enough for it. Hey remember that time she oneshot a bonus boss with a twelve-foot sword made of fire? I think she’s old enough.

Yui stahp.

You said it kid.

… also I caught Yui mid-blink so she’s doing bedroom eyes augh

Exhausted by everything that had already happened today, I went to check on Lisbeth. She was always the most level-headed of the Aincrad crowd after all, and improving her blacksmithing skills is always a safe bet, right?

It went poorly.

Liz has been really distracted of late, preoccupied by her skill loss. So distracted in fact that she fucked up the latest forging so bad that the tip of the sword broke off and tried to nail her to the wall by the forehead. She admits that she has little to keep her busy these days, as all of her regular clients have moved on. Kirito’s response?

She just looks thrilled doesn’t she.

I love how unimpressed with Kirito’s little Makeout Point spot she looks in this screenshot. Lisbeth quickly works out that Kirito goes here to train because he still doesn’t want people to know about his fighting skills. It’s a very safe spot.

Lisbeth then says that he should have saved the knowledge of this spot for someone special.

Pardon me, I just need a moment to remove my sodden panties before I slip right out of my chair.

Hey, remember Warmth of the Heart, where Lisbeth swallowed her feelings for Kirito at great personal discomfort because she knew Kirito only had eyes for Asuna and didn’t want to ruin her friend’s relationship with her own personal feelings?

Notice how Kirito’s directly making it worse?

Fuck you Kirito.

Plot twist. Lisbeth is an Anti-Shadow Suppression Weapon.

This went poorly.

She’s an Anti-Shadow Suppression Weapon who recharges through hugs.

I won’t lie, I would hug the shit out of Lisbeth. Especially when she’s making this face.

Eventually Lisbeth does loosen her vice-like death-grip on Kirito, and they return to Arc Sophia. Lisbeth promises to get back to work on re-training her blacksmithing, and to go to that spot Kirito showed her if she feels down about it again.

They proceeded to hug for thirty minutes, making all the patrons seriously uncomfortable.

Woohoo! Gold hammer, 1.8x upgrade chance multiplier! Let’s see what you’ve got, Lisbeth!

… FUCK YOU LISBETH.

YOU HAVE ONE CHANCE TO MAKE UP FOR RUINING MY OTHER AXE OR I SWEAR-

… you win this round.

The moment I explored a new area in the Hollow Area I found a baseline axe that was even better than my Blood Xroad +4, with more upgrade slots to boot. Fuck you Lisbeth, your services are dogshit and you should feel bad about them.

So here’s Leafa’s Defence outfit. It’s not aggressively moronic, I just thinks it looks stupid. And with that we have unlocked all three AI tendency outfits, thus bestowing upon us her ULTIMATE OUTFIT.

Gurl my new axe looks like $100 and you look like spare change.

And with all four outfits unlocked, you know what that means…

BYE BITCH, ENJOY BEING ON THE BENCH FOR THE REST OF THE GAME